Weaned from the pump!!

Ok so I never actually got around to writing this when I did wean which was now A LONG time ago. But I wanted to just write about weaning in case people did a search or in case I ever have to go through it again. When Mariko was about 8 months old or so, I started weaning from the pump. I was pumping 5x a day at that point and it was driving me nuts. I also realized that if I stopped around 9 months that I should have enough to get her pretty close to a year. So, I started by tapering the amount of time on the middle of the day pumps, planning to consolidate those from 3 to 2 and to leave the early morning pump and the before bedtime pump alone. So then I went down to 4. It's amazing how 4x a day was so much more manageable than 5 and I wish I had done it sooner because honestly my supply didn't really suffer at all. The first day or two I had to go back up in time, pumping nearly 35 minutes on those two middle of the day pumps.

Pumping times
5x a day: 5,9,1,5,9
4x a day: 5,10,3,9
3x a day: 9,1,9
2x a day: 9,9
1x a day: 9pm

Dropping to three took about a week and a half (as did going from 5 to 4) instead of my estimated week or so. Going to three was amazing because it meant taking out the early morning pump. I hadn't been pumping in the middle of the night for a while but when Mariko woke up to eat I was getting up to pump so it was anywhere from 3-5am and then I was waiting until her first nap usually around 8:30 or 9. The three times a day was amazing. Only twice during the day while she was awake was incredible. No more 5pm pumping (right before dinner time and when my mom was getting home) and I could kind of fudge the times a bit if I needed to. Going 12 hours without pumping was incredible. Then from there I dropped to 2 and that was even better. I would wait until her first nap to pump and then not again until after she was in bed! I was also able to do the nighttime pump earlier so I could go to bed earlier if I wanted which was awesome. Finally I dropped to 1 pump and after a week or so of that, I decided I wanted to see how long I could go. I had gotten down to about 15 minutes. So, I decided that I would just wait and see. I ended up going 36 hours and pumping during a morning nap right before leaving for PEPS. After that, I was done!

The first week I felt great and I thought, wow this was easier than I thought! But then week 2 and in to week three was really hard. I was uncomfortable and in pain but I didn't wan to pump. So I would massage in the shower. I read everything. Some people said ice some said warm, some said massage some didn't, some said bind them and wait it out. The tight bra was painful and I gave up on that really quick. The ice wasn't comfortable but I did that and it seemed to help me. That and cabbage leaves which help with clogs.

I honestly couldn't believe that I was finally done and the pump stayed on the desk for a long time. I kept thinking I was going to have to pump again. Finally after 3 weeks or so, I put it away and it's still away! There is no way that I miss it. None at all. I am honestly amazed that I made it as long as I did. At the final tally (on the last day that I put in more than I took out from the freezer) I was at 2124.5 ounces. Amazing. Tomorrow Mariko will be 11 months old and I have about 550 ounces left in the freezer. I don't think that will last another month as that's not even 20 ounces a day. But, it will be close. Very close. I am so amazed at myself for making it that long! Honestly, if we have nursing issues again, for me to EP for this long, I'm going to either need a nanny at home with Mariko, or she's going to need to be in childcare during the day. I can not imagine doing this with a 2 year old (or however old) at home, and an infant. NOT POSSIBLE.

What a ride it was and I'm glad it's over! The only thing I miss is the bigger boobs. I am excited to soon go and get new bras though, as my old ones don't fit! So excited to not be wearing nursing bras and tans any more!

To anyone reading this who is pumping: Hang in there as long as you can but don't feel bad when you need to stop. It's hard to stop. I had a much harder time dropping from 5 to 4 and 4 to 3 than I thought. Then at 2 I thought, I could do this longer. But, I'm glad I stopped when I did. I hated the pump and I hated being attached to it for so long everyday. 2.5 hours everyday for months. Do what you can and never feel bad, or let anyone else make you feel bad, for stopping. You can only do as much as you can and it's more important that you be there for your baby and be a happy and healthy mama!

And so we begin weaning from the pump!

I started weaning last weekend - I am down to 4x a day from 5 and it makes such a huge difference! Having to pump only twice during the day while she's awake instead of 3 times (and 4-5 hours apart instead of 3+) makes such an amazing difference in my day. I think I might have been less resentful of this whole thing overall with 4 instead of 5.

Supply has dropped a little bit but not much and I am slowly decreasing the time, especially with the two middle of the day pumps. I am concerned about dropping another though as that will mean going to only 3 and each one 8 hours apart. Right now the only time I go that long is at night and then I don't notice it because I'm not awake! The plan is to do that this weekend but I think I might need more time of dropping down the middle of the day pumps before I can do that. I'm focused mostly on dropping time off the 10am one so that I can make it to 1pm.

So far I'm still adding to the freezer stash and have nearly 2000 ounces! The freezer in the garage has three full shelves and I may need to use the bottom one as well.

Pumping

We are getting seriously close to the time in which I get to start weaning from the pump and amazingly the only thing I can think of is "why am I doing that again?" and "will there be enough milk to get her to a year?" Crazy right? I mean all I have done for the last 8 months is complain about how much I hate pumping - it takes up too much time (3 hours a day), it means that I don't get to sleep (because I still get up to pump at 5am every morning) and that it's the last thing I think about at night and the first thing I think about in the morning. It is the center of my universe (well, second to Mariko anyway). My day revolves around it - when will Mariko sleep so I can pump? and trying to fit it in when we have other things to do. I have pumped more hours than I care to think about and pumped who knows how many ounces (I have it written though starting from the end of February so I'm really only missing the first month and I can probably guess based on what she was eating because at that point, honestly, I was just barely making enough to feed her).

So this weekend I will go down from 5 pumps to 4. Doesn't seem like a big thing but over the last few days Mariko has been eating like a champ and it makes me think that maybe I won't be able to get her to a year. Yes, plenty of kids do just fine on formula (Jason, Jeffrey and I!) but I feel like since that was my goal, I want to make it. I'll spend a week at 4, a week at 3 a week at 2 a week at 1 and then hopefully be done. I've read about others doing it and they say from 2 to 1 is the hardest and then at the end you might have to pump a couple of times (every 2 to 3 days or so) until you no longer feel like you need to. So. I will be done when she turns 9 months old, or there abouts.

When we go to Medford I will bring the pump (since this will be just after I get done with my week at 1) however I am hoping that I will be able to make it the whole trip without pumping. We shall see.

It's weird how I thought this was going to be so easy. I hate spending all this time with the pump, but it really is more difficult than I thought it would be. Reading what other people wrote about trying to wean and then not seemed crazy to me but now that I'm getting closer to doing it, I get it. Not making it to a year makes me seem like a failure even though I never planned to make it that far. I planned to make it to 6 months and I have gone way beyond that. I have done the best I can for Mariko and I will get her darn close to a year. I look forward to spending time with her and enjoying her nap time (and maybe being able to be productive and play some clarinet or something?) instead of running to the pump every time she goes down for a nap.

Medford, OR

Toshi was offered an interview in Medford, OR. This is the first interview that he's been offered for a job that would start in July once he's done with fellowship. I am excited that he got an interview but I'm not excited about how far away it is. However, at this point it's the only one he's gotten and we need to be realistic about where we might end up. There are not a lot of radiology jobs and this may be the only one. However, I'm trying to be hopeful about it all and since we still have 9 months maybe something else will turn up.

He scheduled the interview for November 1st. We will leave on the 31st and drive down to Medford. They are putting us up in a hotel (I am going to call once we've got info and see about if we are going to have a fridge and a kitchenette and if not see if we can pay to upgrade to one. With Mariko I think that having a bigger room and a kitchenette will be really really helpful.) We will stay there Thursday night, Toshi will interview on Friday, we have a dinner on Friday night. We'll stay in Medford Friday night and then Saturday we will see the town. After that we will drive to Coos Bay to see Clarks and stay with them Saturday and Sunday night. Monday we drive back. Should be an adventure with Mariko - first time for her a in a hotel!

Adventures in swaddling and napping

Mariko is a swaddle addict. She takes all her naps and sleeps at night in a swaddle and always has. I think that we are getting to the point of needing to stop swaddling her - as she can now roll over in the swaddle. We have tried stopping before and it didn't work. She flails and cries and even if she does get to sleep, she doesn't sleep very long because she moves so much in her sleep. I bought a Zipadee Zip sleep sack which has enclosed hands and is supposed to be a transition to stop swaddling. She's too small for it and it's still too much freedom so we put a lose swaddle blanket on the outside or inside. We will see how it all goes.

Also, naps. Mariko has always been a 45 minute napper. For the longest time she was taking 4-45 minute naps and then dropped to 3. Now she's taking a long nap (usually during nap 1 or 2 time) and then taking 2 other short naps throughout the day. However, over the last couple of days, she's gone to taking one short nap and one long nap! And last night she slept 13 hours. I only let her sleep in that long because it helped with going to Stroller Strides class this morning. I really don't want her to be a "all sleeping at night, no nap" kid so I think I may need to start waking her up in the morning. I think that two naps is ok for her at this point as long as she doesn't try to give up the late afternoon short one (which she does sometimes when she has taken a short first nap and long second one). It would be great for her to sleep from say 10-11:30 and then 1:30 or 2-3:00. That sounds fantastic. I'm going to work on that ;-)

Anyway, the adventure continues! Everyday is an adventure with her!

Adventures with food

Watching Mariko learn to feed herself has been so much fun. She clearly loves to eat and has a serious determination to do so. I started with her just sitting on my lap and not too long after that, she started reaching for my food. So I would leave little pieces of things for her to grab as I was eating. Around the time that she turned 6 months old my dad bought her her highchair. The Tripp Trapp is incredible and we love it. It looks like a big kid chair (with an addition to help her not fall out of it) and allows her to sit at the table with us when we eat. I love having her involved in meals that way, with her own place at the table and everything. I think that she likes it too.

We've been doing the food thing about 6 weeks or so now and so far she's really seemed to like everything. We need to come back to peas and avocado though as peas made her cheeks really red and avocado made her spit up (that was the first thing I gave her and I think it might have just been too much at the beginning). I think that she has favorites and honestly, it's mostly fruit - peaches and pears I would say are her favorite - but she also LOVES broccoli. Yesterday she started raspberries and it is fun to watch her working on her pincer grasp! I really believe that kids should eat this way, it's so much more natural than purees and even though it's really messy, the prep is so much easier. I also think it's good, especially for a kid like Mariko who was early and is still a bit behind, because it makes her work on her coordination and fine motor skills. 

I can't wait for the day when she will just eat what we eat and I can just give her food off my plate. So looking forward to that!

Pumping and soon I'll be done.

I have decided that when Mariko is 9 months old I will be done pumping. Not starting to wean then, but done done (although I understand it takes a while to really be done and sometimes you have to pump a little once or twice even at the very end, although sometimes days apart).

I calculated that as of Sunday (two days ago) I have 11 weeks or 77 days left. I like 11 weeks, feels like a much more manageable time than 77 days however now that we are at Tuesday I'm down to 75. I am planning to start the weaning process (assuming I have enough in the freezer) when she turns 8 months old.

Right now I have about 1300 ounces and I need about 1800 to get her through the last three months or so. I don't think I'll be able to stop any sooner because that's just how long I'll need to get the last 500 ounces or so. Mom and I sat down and calculated that even at worst case scenario for me (only storing 10 ounces a day) and crazy eating scenario for Mariko (30 ounces a day - she usually eats about 26 or so now) that I should still be fine being done at 9 months. I figure that at the end I will be freezing a lot less of course but right now I'm freezing 16-20 ounces most days so I'm not worried.

From having read other blogs, people have said that they start to give up pumping and then sometimes change their minds, that they feel connected to the pump in some way and that they feel like they are giving up. Although I can see that, I will be so excited to be done. I will have free time in my day. I won't have to worry about when she is going to nap so that I can pump and won't have to worry about being out all day and should I take the pump with me or should I just go a long time? I won't have to worry about getting up in the night. Hopefully by then Mariko won't be either and we can all get some quality sleep! As it is right now, I don't ever get more than about 7 hours, as my body wakes me up once it's been 8 and once I get done pumping it takes me a while before I get to sleep so if I pump at 9, by 5 or so my body wakes me up. I will not miss it. I will not miss feeling like my life revolves around the pump. I know that I'm doing the best thing for Mariko by pumping but honestly, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It is not fun. I am just grateful that I have produced enough milk that I can be done at 9 months and still get Mariko to a year. Hopefully this won't be an issue with other children because I don't want to do it again. I remember thinking before she was born how great it would be to pump because it would mean that Toshi could help in the night. Well, I'm glad he was able to but I wish it had been as I thought it would be! Hopefully the next time around everything will work as it should!

Home :-)

Mariko and I have now been home just over a week. It's amazing to be back although until our stuff gets here I think I'll still feel like I'm visiting. Our stuff will be here Tuesday! The one day that Toshi will be here and not working which is fantastic. I'm so excited about it!

It's been a big, busy week even though it's kind of a normal week. Trying to get settled has been an adventure. It's been interesting being in a big house with stairs! Up and down and up and down all day long! Mariko's room is fantastic and I can't wait to get her furniture in there so that the room feels complete. We have her sleeping on a floor bed. We had her on a crib mattress, surrounded so she couldn't fal off. Now she's on a porta crib mattress because it's thinner and therefore closer to the ground. We don't have it enclosed on all sides and this morning at 4am I found her on the floor! I think she must have slid off and rolled in the process. This evening she rolled back to front on her own for the first time! So maybe she did roll off? We'll see how tonight goes with the staying on the mattress. The close to the ground is good but the mattress is so tiny I think that's why she fell off. In that regard the bigger one might be better.

Tomorrow morning we are taking Mariko to the doctor. She has a bump on the back of her head that's gotten bigger and I want to know what it is. Hopefully everything is fine and tomorrow we'll know for sure! The insurance issue might be interesting though since we are still on our NY insurance....

I should get myself to bed - I'll try and write more later.

Tomorrow Toshi comes home!!

Daily stuff

I saw this on Pinterest a while back and have just not done it yet but I think I need to. Take index cards and a card file and make a card for each day of the year. Each day write something that happened. I have a lot of days to fill in but I want to start with 2013. Thank goodness for Facebook and the calendar as I'm sure those will help! So here is me starting this online and when I get to Seattle I will get stuff and actually get started!

We start with the easy stuff and added from the calendar. Most recent is of course the easiest!
1/25 - I feel crummy and spend the day on the couch
1/26 - To the hospital
1/27 - Mariko born, mom visits
1/29 - I'm released from the hospital
1/31 - Consultation appointment with Pediatrician. Mom goes with me.

2/1 - We find out from Dr. Boxer that Mariko will be going home Monday!
2/4 - Mariko released from the hospital!!
2/5 - Mariko's first visit with the Pediatrician. My appointment - find out I have mastitis.

2/12 - Mariko followup appointment
2/16 - Mara visits
2/17 - Mom goes home
2/19 - Mariko appointment
2/27- Mariko turns one month old! First baby photo shoot.

3/5 - Toshi's mom arrives really really late!
3/9 - Toshi's final NSSO concert
3/10 - I teach James' lesson at the house
3/12 - My six week checkup
3/15 - Haircut, finally!
3/17 - Northwinds Children's Concert. Mariko smiles for the first time!
3/18 - Toshi's mom leaves
3/25 - Jeffrey arrives

3/27 - Mariko turns two months old!

3/28 - Jeffrey leaves. Marsha visits

3/31 - Rachel here for dinner

4/5 - Dad arrives
4/6 - Tara lesson at the house
4/7 -
4/8 - Toshi goes to his review course in Jersey
4/9 - Ben and Jerry's free cone day! Dad, Mariko and I go get ice cream in Huntington
4/10 -
4/11 - Four Year anniversary!
4/12 - Toshi gets home from his review course after a 3+ hour drive back from Jersey.
4/13 - Dad leaves
4/14 - We take our yearly anniversary photo

4/20 - Meet Michelle and Aiden at Walt Whitman mall

4/27 - Mariko turns three months old!
4/28 - Northwinds Concert! Toshi and I play the Gordon Jacob concerto. Dinner with Dan, Karen and Rachel afterwards
4/29 -
4/30 - Mariko's three month checkup

5/1 - Jessica's first sewing class. Brings home a pillow case made in class.
5/2 - Drive to Norfolk
5/3 - Mariko sleeps until 5:30am (from 8pm!)
5/4 - We attend the Hackbarth's preschool fair. Toshi wears Mariko in the carrier for the first time.
5/5 - We drive to DC, get stuck in horrible traffic. Mariko meets her great aunt and uncle
5/6 - Mariko meets her cousin Emi
5/7 - Drive from DC back to Long Island
5/8 -
5/9 - Stacey visits
5/10 -
5/11 -
5/12 - My first Mother's Day! Spend the day out East at the wineries and Briermere
5/16 - Harbor Freight and Ben and Jerry's
5/17 -  Mariko rolls front to back, we miss it!
5/18 -
5/19 - Mariko rolls front to back and we see it :-)
5/25 - Patricia here for lunch
5/26 -
5/27 - Our final BBQ at the house - Rachel, Juliana, Nick, Dan, Claire, Craig, Thad, Katie, Samantha
Mariko turns four months old!
5/28 - I register for the Seattle Marathon 10K in August
5/29 - Visit to the laundromat
5/30 - Toshi and Thad go riding, Katie and Samantha visit
5/31 - Attempted to stop swaddling. Dr. appointment for me.

6/2? - Moved her out of the Newborn napper because she ended up face down in it!
6/4 - Toshi takes moc boards at work, Jessica and Mariko take a walk in the beautiful weather - Mariko has her feet sticking out of the carrier for the first time.
6/5 - Four month checkup, Acura shipped to Seattle
6/6 - Sleep regression? Mariko wakes up at 11:15pm - First time before midnight in a long time!
6/7 - Stop by the hospital for Mariko to meet Joan, Dr. Bryson and Dr. Hsu.
Toshi has hospital wide graduation
6/8 - Last lunch with Thad, Katie and Samantha. We order Indian food and make banana bread
6/9 - Mariko wakes at 7:30 after sleeping ALL NIGHT (from 7:30pm!)
6/10 - Mariko plays with the monkey two handed (reaching across with her left hand) for the first time. Toshi leaves for Louisville to take his boards.
6/11 - Mariko and I have our first ever 24 hours on our own.
6/12 - Toshi takes his board exam and flies home
6/13 - Final trip to the laundromat! Packing. Toshi's graduation dinner
6/14 - Movers come to pack the house. Mom arrives
6/15 - Movers come to load the truck. Mariko, mom and I fly and Toshi starts driving. Seattle here we come!
6/16 - First full day back in Seattle! Mariko makes a seamless transition to West Coast time.
6/17 - Carrie and the boys visit!
6/18 - Mariko sleeps from 6:30 to 4:45!
6/19 - Toshi drives to Denver. Acura delivered. First in carrier West Seattle walk.
6/20 - Visit Stacey. Dad visits. Toshi hangs out in Denver. First ever two nap day (accidentally)
6/21 - Mariko holds her bottle (a small one) for the first time, drops it and bonks herself in the face. Mariko plays with the crinkly part of the playmat.
6/22 - We move Mariko to the portable crib mattress on the floor with one side open. First West Seattle walk with Grandma, in the stroller.
6/23 - 4am Mariko wakes to eat. I go in to get her and she's face down on the floor and not the mattress! One arm out of the swaddle.
Mariko rolls back to front!!
6/24 - Dr. appointment for the bump on her head. Toshi comes home!!
6/25 - Movers!
6/26 - Toshi starts orientation. Mariko reaches for the Tupperware containing my skillet pizza!
6/27 - 5 months! Mariko has her roughest night ever and takes nearly two hours to settle down for bed
6/28 - First run in a while. Another tough night. First BBQ in Seattle
6/29 - Bedtime back to normal
6/30 - Mariko's first trip to Costco Seattle and through the car wash

7/1 - Begin "mandatory" 7:30am waking. Mariko imitates by shaking her rattle! Visit with D'Amours
7/2 - 5 month shots. Mariko?
7/3 - Toshi's first day of work. Nick, Dan and Stacey come visit. Mariko grabs both feet with both hands
7/4 - First Fourth of July! Jeffrey and Lindsay visit. Mariko reaches out to pet Gracie
7/5 - Baby diaper service first day. Mariko very deliberately plays with Sophie. Mariko puts herself to sleep after many rough nights.
7/6 - Herbfarm!
7/7 - Jeffrey's birthday! Mariko imitates Lindsay's clicking sound
7/8 - Mariko reaches for the chip bag and grabs it numerous times! Mariko grabs cherrys from the bowl
7/9 - Mariko reaches for my sandwich so I give her some avocado - she loves it! (fed by me)
7/10 - Visit to the doctor for itchy scalp start steroid cream and Benadryl at bedtime. Mom and I decide to walk t/w/th

11- Mariko tries to walk/dance! Free slurpee day
12 - Mariko tries yogurt and grapes. A quick Barker family dinner
13 - West Seattle Street Fair
14 - Jessica runs a half hour (nearly 2.5 miles!) - longest yet! Ordered BOB stroller!
15 - Mariko grabs Piper's fur! Mariko and Gracie head bump. Mariko's dermatology appointment at Children's Hospital.  Mariko, mom and I visit Albey at work. Mariko reaches for avocado and eats some off her hand. Mariko learns to do raspberries.
16 - Mariko eats pear, peach and pulled pork for the first time. Mariko learns to grab the spoon as I fed her avocado. Mariko pushes the pulled pork in her mouth (after I put it there after she opened her mouth)
17 - BOB arrives
18- Grabs right foot with left hand

We back off on foods
All day with no hat for the first time in a while!
Mariko on her tummy - pushes with her feet and scoots enough we can actually see it happen!
Margaret Browning born.
19 - Day 2 no hat! Tough teething day.
20 - sweet potatoes, fist BOB walk
21 - Dinner at Angelina's for Grandmaman's birthday
22 - Costco and Mariko starts scratching again... First 3-6 outfit!
23 - Mariko figures out how to pull off my glasses. Carrots! Visit dad at work
24 -  Mariko is sick for the first time ever
25 - Mariko is well again! Toshi stays home since we didn't get much sleep.
26 - Banana
27 - 6 months! I can't believe it! Photo shoot day! First time in the Tripp Trapp
28 - Toshi and I go running. Toshi lets me sleep in but I don't...
29 - Early AM - two overnight feedings for the first time in a long time.
HUGE poop - Mariko hops in the shower with me
30 -Mariko's six month appointment. She is getting incredibly good at feeding herself - she very successfully ate some banana!
31 - Broccoli. Huge poop in the tub.

August
1 - Stroller Strides
2 - Kelli, Ronan and Nora visit
3 - Barker dinner, Mariko meets Porter. Stephanie and Mark get married!!
4 - Breakfast with Angela Veda and Mason. Elizabeth and Stacey stop by.
5 - run, grocery store, Overnight no feedings! (wake up at midnight to reswaddle) too bad it only happened once!
6 - letter from Minelli's, Toshi home in am, start double swaddling in afternoon for naps and bedtime
7 - walk
8 - Mariko eats dinner in her Tripp Trapp with everyone home!

9 - No overnight feedings!
10 - Two nights in a row! Purchase LEAF, Wine tasting with mom, Francine and Mariko. First night with mittens under swaddle
11 - Mariko looks at me on the changing table and says "hi", she also says what sounds like "kitty". Go to Sabrina and Aarons
12 - First word is definitely "hi"! Back to double swaddle added to mittens
13 - Dad comes by to visit
14 - 4am - I faint while pumping... Prius = sold!
15 - Peaches. 3 hour nap. Dr apt for me. Mariko says "yeah" when I ask if she wants to wear pants
16 - short nap day for Mariko - nap #3 spent 1 hour getting her to nap (at 4:45) only to have her only sleep 45 minutes
17 - Finally get pictures on the wall of our bedroom! Albey's retirement picnic.
18 - Carrots. Mariko reaches out (while Toshi is holding her) to have me pick her up. Brunch at Fresh Bistro
19 - Prius Sold! Visit D'Amour grandparents
20 - Mariko plays piano!
21 - Apricots. Walk and play at Hiawatha
22 - Second rough nap day - Mariko no longer wants to sit and rock with me in the chair
23 - Piper jumps on to the changing table! Yoko and Richard arrive
24 - Day at home with Richard and Yoko. Mariko takes her first "step" while I'm holding on to her
25 - Mariko says "boop" after Toshi touches nose to nose and says boop (repeats with me) 9 weeks of pumping left. Mariko "dance"s on request!
26 - Children's hospital apt. Mariko chooses a monkey above a bear at Hanna Andersson
27 - 7 months! Mariko reaches across her left side with her right hand.
28 - Yoko and Richard leave
29 - Mariko big poop while in the Tripp Trapp
30 - start rice cereal, Mariko reaches from left to right to reach for the dragonfly.
31- Toshi gets off work early and then gets called in again. Mom, Mariko and I stop by "Small Clothes" and get a few new things.

September
1 - Mariko rolls back to front! Attempt to stop swaddling - nope
2 - Weaning off swaddle - down to one swaddle blanket
3 - 1am Mariko wakes unswaddled (only waking all night). Mariko chooses butternut squash (over acorn) at the store. Dad comes for dinner (first of many Tuesdays so I can go to bells)
4 - Midnight wake up and then 6am..... Stroller Strides - so fun! Mariko no afternoon nap - up 5 hours!
5 - Serious downpour and thunder. Toshi wakes up to my alarm and drives to work.
6 - Mariko rolls over while calming herself down for a nap.
7 - Make blackberry and raspberry scones.
8 - Mariko tries the Zippadee Zip - we end up putting a swaddle blanket outside of it! Walk with Stacey on Alki. 7 weeks of pumping left!
9 - Stroller Strides
10 - Bells begins! Dad helps a bit more with bedtime.
11- We remember. Stroller Strides. High of -91?
12 - Visit D'Amour grandparents
13 - Mariko tries to sign "water". Mariko signs "all done" (half sign, half pulling at her bib)
14 - Family Stroller Strides - mom comes with us! Sabrina and Aarin come for dinner
15 - Mellow day (Mariko doesn't wake up all night 9/15)
16 - Stroller Strides. Toshi home early!
17 - First bell rehearsal
18 - Stroller Strides. Toshi schedules Medford interview. Mariko sits up the bath!
19 - Mariko slept all night again (overnight 9/18) and took two naps - 1.5 and 3+ hours. Plays peek-a-boo with me!
20 - Make butternut squash soup. Exploding casserole dish. Mariko starts sleeping at night with one arm out.
21 - Mariko takes a long afternoon nap with Toshi. Barker grandparents visit.
22 - Dan come for dinner
23 - Pouring down rain, no SS this morning.
24 - First Tuesday SS
25 - First PEPS
26 - Toshi home from work sick. Bakery Nouveau lunch
27 - 8 months!!
28 - 8 month photo shoot. Mariko takes naps with one arm out! I go down to 4x pumping instead of 5x a day. Attempted two arms out swaddle at bedtime - went in to swaddle one arm in.
29 - Weird day - Mariko only takes one nap
30 - Butternut Squash Day 1

October
1 - Toshi home in AM. Stroller STrides. Mariko says hi as I come get her from a nap. Dad here. Bells
2 - PEPS - no morning nap
3 - Mango!
4 - SS with guest teacher - awesome! Mariko "boops" me while getting her ready for bed (a bunch of times)
5 - Mariko "boops" mom and Toshi. We do her routine with her up on my shoulder. Mariko gives me kisses! (sloppy!)
6 - Blueberries. Dad visits. Mariko starts lunging for things (done before, I don't remember when) Jeffrey, Lindsay and Wolfie arrive
7 - Family dinner with NOLA Barkers. I spend an hour napping with Mariko (after many 30 minute naps)
8 - Jeffrey, Lindsay and Wolfie leave. Mariko gets her first tooth!
9 - First three pumping day, Beets
10 - Meet PEPS people at Lincoln park
11 - Mariko starts giving (wet and slimy) kisses! (or perhaps the day before?)
12 - Stroller Stides with mom. Mariko sleeps three hours in the afternoon! Trying for 7:15 bedtime after a couple of 5:45am wake ups
13 - Mariko's first ride in the shopping cart
14 - Mariko kisses herself in the mirror (small mirror)
7 am wakeup, 6:30 bedtime - varies by last nap wake-time. Wake times 2.5/3/3.5 (unless I have to wake her, then 2 instead of 2.5)
Mariko falls forward while Toshi is watching her
15 - Mariko cries for an hour at bedtime.... Toshi has to go back in at 7:30 to feed her (issues with dad putting her to sleep?)
16 - Mariko wakes at 4:30 but puts herself back to sleep by 5. Wakes at 6:45 on her own!
Mariko had the best day at PEPS. She was happy and smiley! Getting used to people and having slept.
Mariko has curry at dinner. Mariko leans foward and lands on her tummy - twice!
17 - Mariko has Cheerios at breakfast. Mariko signs "more" while on the changing table (she wanted more milk!)
18 - busy busy day and a trip to Costco
19 - Two half hour naps and that's it. Mariko has tomatoes, ketchup and spicy sweet potato fries which she eats but make her face turn red and her eyes water.
20 - Mariko has rice for the first time. I play bells in church
21 - Mariko hits her head while lunging
22 - Cantaloupe
23 - Asparagus
24 - Mom and I go to Anything Goes. Mariko and I go to the zoo and she hardly sleeps all day
25 - Parsnips. Mariko wakes up 45 minutes after going to bed, crying. I go in to get her and she looks at me and says "mama, mama". Biggest. Smile. Ever.
26 - Mariko eats english muffin with raspberry jam. Starts doing a rocking thing while sitting (before lunging)
27 - 9 months! Photo shoot. Yogurt, Mariko starts "wiggle" Blueberries with yogurt
28 - Toshi takes a day off. 9 month appointment. Rolls off mattress. Puts herself back to sleep with two arms out at 2:30a
29 - Another nightime freakout. Mariko has cheese for the first time
30 - Packing for Medford.
31 - Off to Medford we go!

November
1 -  Toshi interviews
2 -  Look around Medford. Drive to Coos Bay
3 - Day in Coos Bay
4 - Drive back to Seattle
5 - Toshi's birthday!
6 - Mariko scoots off her mattress! LAST PUMP!!!
7 - Jeffrey symphony
8 - Mariko scoots just a bit backwards
9 - Toshi and I go out to dinner and the Symphony, mom puts Mariko to bed. Mariko has eggs yolks!
10 - dad comes by. Toshi puts Mariko to bed
11 - Cascade rehearsal. Toshi day off! Mom puts Mariko to bed
12 - Mariko bobs up and down while sitting
13 - Mariko sideways on the bed (first time in a while and first time ever on her big mattress). Discomfort begins
14 - Mariko makes a weird grunting noise at the table. Sits on the table and lunges towards mom and me!
15 - Packed up the pump!!!

16 - Mariko starts "nana mama"

17 - dinner with Stacey and Seth, bedside table for Mariko (for purifier)

Mariko points at the bath toy she wants

18 -  Alexander lesson for me. Mariko learns how to get water to come out of the starfish

19 - Mariko has cornbread for the first time. I start writing down everything I eat
20 - Mariko starts with lots of leg scrunching and trying to get her knees underneath her. First night of both arms out!
21 - Make Mariko muffins
22 - I stay in my pajamas all day. Mom leaves for NOLA

23 - Mariko naps with arms out! Dan and Karen here for dinner. Toshi PSSO concert. Mariko puts a toy away in the basket. I ovulate!
24 - Copies knocking ping-pong balls together
25 - Mariko rolls off bed (before nap #2)
26 - Scooting around (backwards) Mariko rolling herself over before naps
27 - 10 months! Mariko takes a nap on her stomach! Mariko sleeps at night with no swaddle!
28 - Mariko's first Thanksgiving. Here, made by Francine. Naps, zippy only! Mariko waves!
29 - Chrix comes to visit. Lunch with Emi
30 - Turkey curry dinner here with Barkers

December
1 -
2 -
3 - Mom back from NOLA. Shannon returns after being gone 2 years and 2 months
No PEPS because Mariko takes a long nap
5 - Toshi academic half day, we drive him to work
6 - No afternoon nap. Thankfully a third nap!
7 - Play bells at Joanne's wedding. Mariko gets up on her knees and rocks! Mariko tastes chocolate for the first time - chocolate covered cheesecake pop (I give her a taste of the stick)
8 - Bells at church
9 - Mariko puts with the buttons. Duct cleaning (late nap!)
10 - Period. UGH
11 - PEPS meets at Chaco Canyon. Mariko takes long naps and we try for a slightly later bedtime.
12 - Toshi leaves for Denver. Mariko uses the "put n' take"s. First exploration with ribbons.
13 - Toshi Denver interview. Mariko signs "more" when I clap after she waves "hi" to Smudge.
14 - Birthday! Radiology dinner at Salty's. Get a Christmas tree!
15 - Photos with Santa at Malbecs (BYOC)
16 - Toshi starts at the VA - ends up at home since everything is busted. Put together Montessori shelf
17 - First day of Montessori work! First bath without insert.
18 - Last PEPS. First taste of a cookie! Mom's shortbread.
19 - Mariko's first taste of fudge.
20 - SNOW!
21 - Stephanie and Mark come to the house. Added foam roller to Mariko's bed after she rolled off (at 10pm and 4am)

22 - Sunday early AM - Mariko scooting up on the mattress in her sleep (1am and 4am) 

23 - Jeffrey, Lindsay and Woflie arrive. Dinner with the GHS crowd at Stacey's house
24 - Toshi gets out of work EARLY!
25 - Mariko's first Christmas! Mariko gets up on her hands and knees an rocks. Rough bedtime after a long and busy day.
26 - Jeffrey has Evan and Michael over
27 - 11 months! Photo shoot. Mariko tries Buddha Ruksa, cries at spicy chicken. First sleep in medium zippy
28 - Mariko has Indian food. Toshi's friend Lisa comes for dinner
29 - Mariko has pizza for the first time. Starts using "t" at the end of words. Switch over work for the first time!
30 - Power outage!
31 - 4 nights of sleeping through!

So close to home!

Yesterday Toshi posted this on facebook:
7 days until oral boards in Louisville
8 days until graduation dinner
9 days until the moving company packs up our junk
10 days until Jessica and Mariko fly out and I start driving westward

So to add to that... Today is Thursday and here's what the next 10 days will look like for us
Toshi is doing his last laundromat duty
Tomorrow he has all hospital graduation and we are going to try and go by the hospital and say hi to my midwife who hasn't met Mariko yet
Saturday - hopefully a final lunch with our friends Thad and Katie and their baby Samantha. They are moving to Texas just as we move to Seattle. We are hoping to stay in touch and perhaps each visit the other once a year especially since the girls are only three months apart.
Sunday - attending the Northwinds concert
Monday - Toshi leaves for Louisville, we drive him to the airport
Tuesday - A full day of being a single parent for me
Wednesday - Toshi has his exam, he flies back that night and I am grateful to have his help back, especially overnight!
Thursday - My last trip to the laundromat, lots of packing, Toshi's graduation dinner with the Radiology department
Friday - The movers come to pack the house, mom arrives 9pm
Saturday - Mariko, mom and I fly out, 9am. Toshi comes back to the house to be here while the movers pack the truck and then he starts driving West.

SO Excited!!!

Swaddling

We had decided that when Mariko started to roll that we would stop swaddling. It seemed logical, as kids who can roll need their arms out to help them if they roll to their stomach while sleeping. Yesterday we decided it was time. She was still sleeping in the curved Newborn Napper but we planned to swaddle arms out for a couple of days and then move her down to the flat part of the Pack n' Play (when we go to Seattle my mom's Pack n' Play only has the flat part, and once our furniture comes, we are going to move her to her mattress on the floor).

Needless to say it did not go well. I was gone in the morning and Toshi put her down for her first nap with arms out. She cried for a half hour and then slept 40 minutes. A 40 minute nap is normal for her but she usually goes down in less than 10 minutes. Toshi was gone in the afternoon and the next two naps were mine. The first of those two took about 15 minutes and the second about 10 minutes but each time she still only slept about 40 minutes. We talked about it and did some reading online about all the people that swaddle even though their kids roll. And, Mariko just started rolling and hasn't really gone the whole way back to front yet, only front to back so maybe we didn't need to cold turkey just yet. So, for her final nap of the day I swaddled her. After an hour and forty-five minutes I had to wake her because it was 6:15 and she needed to eat before going to bed (usually between 6 and 7). She was clearly happy being swaddled and trying to make up for the bad sleep she'd gotten all day. She went down about 7:45 for bed, swaddled, ate at 12:30 and then didn't wake again until nearly 7:00. She's currently on her fourth nap of the day (usually she only takes 4 but today I guess will be 5!) and during her third one she slept an hour and a half. Needless to say we are all happier with the swaddle and it's not time to take it away from her just yet.

Mariko's rolling!

So, after the day that we missed the roll.... she rolled twice two days later. We did see them but didn't catch them on video. Just a couple of days ago I managed to catch it on video! So now it's official. All of her rolls that day were front to back - all to the right except one which was left. Today as I put her down on the floor she rolled back to front in two motions - to her side as I put her down and then all the way over! She hasn't done the whole thing yet but if I get her to her side she'll roll over. Pretty cool!

Now comes the hard part. Because she is making moves to rolling we need to put her on the flat surface in her Pack n' Play and also stop swaddling her. I figured we would do it all at once but Toshi had the idea we would do it in two steps - this weekend we were planning on moving her out of the curved Newborn Napper anyway since the Pack n' Play at mom's house doesn't have one, but now we'll be doing it all at once! We can still swaddle, it just needs to be with arms out. So tonight will be her last Newborn Napper, swaddle sleep. I have a feeling it might be a rough weekend but we shall see. Starting tomorrow morning she's a big girl!

On Tuesday we will go in for her 4 month check-up and be able to tell the pediatrician all the cool things she's been doing. Her head holding is nearly 100% which makes it much more fun to hold her and she's started playing with her toys and grabbing on to things which is pretty cool as well. Also, when she's on her stomach she will stay a long time with her head up in the air and has even gotten to one elbow and one hand! Our little girl is growing up so fast!

Two weeks from Saturday. I can't believe it!! So ready to go! And I decided to have mom come and help with the flight. Strange since Mariko has to sit on the window, but since I'll need to pump on the plane, it will be really really nice to have her there to help out.

SO SOON!

Mariko rolled! And we missed it....

Mariko rolled this morning from front to back. I was pumping and Toshi was watching her. He was checking something on his computer and keeping an eye on her and all the sudden I hear "How did you get there?" And she was on her back. I think it freaked her out a bit but she did it! Hopefully she'll do it again for me.... today... ;-)

We decided last night wether she was rolling or not that June 1st we are moving her out of the "newborn napper" and going to stop swaddling. Cold turkey, all at once moving her to flat ground and no swaddle. She can't be in either if she's rolling and my mom's Pack n' Play that she'll be sleeping in in Seattle until our stuff comes doesn't have the newborn napper so she's going to have to learn to do without it!

We had a rough morning yesterday but so far a great one today! :-)

More sleeping!

Last night she went down about 8 and slept until 2:30! I think that might be the longest stretch yet! She then slept until 7 and then again until about 8:30. The odd thing is that even with all that sleep she's sleeping more today than normal. A growth spurt perhaps?

Sleeping

Due to my pumping and us bottle feeding from practically day one, Toshi has been able to help out in the middle of the night. This has made a huge difference in the amount of sleep we are able to get - I'm getting a lot more than if I was solely breastfeeding and he, of course, is getting less. However, we have a system worked out where Toshi takes feedings until 2am and I take the ones after. Since Mariko's feedings were getting farther apart, and because they always seemed to be farthest apart before 2am, we  decided we would try and alternate. Toshi would do the first one and then I would do the second one and pump, he would do the third and I then I would get up with her in the morning. This worked out much better since pumping means that I get a half hour or so less sleep after feeding her since pumping is like doing double duty.

Well, as of Thursday night Mariko has been waking up way less. Thursday night she ate about 6:45 and went down about 7:30. Toshi swaddled her, read to her and put her down. She slept until 1:15! Then she slept again until about 6:30. After I fed her she slept about an hour, Toshi grabbed her and she slept on him until 10. Amazing! Last night she didn't go down until almost 9 but then didn't wake until nearly 2:30 and then not again until nearly 7 (with the last half hour or so sleeping on Toshi). Can you tell that Toshi likes to snuggle with her in the morning? We can only hope that this will continue so that we will continue to get more sleep!!!

This morning we are off to our first playdate, although the kid we are meeting is just a year old so it's a bit different. A friend of mine from my second Starbucks has a kid and we are meeting for some lunch at the mall today. We were going to picnic but the weather is crappy so that's not going to happen. It will be nice to have a little outing though since with how horrible the weather is we probably wouldn't leave the house otherwise.

On another note I am wearing many non-maternity clothes these days! I had to go out and buy pants and some shirts but some of my old stuff fits and I'm going to continue to go through things to see what else might fit. Also in my looking through old clothes I found things I will likely never wear again due to them not fitting in some way or another. I'm going to hold on to them and learn to sew. I'm going to turn them in to clothes for Mariko.

Ok, time to grab some breakfast and hopefully a shower while she's down for her nap!

Reasons I will not miss New York

1. People honk at me while I'm turning in my driveway
2. People, in general, suck (unless you have a baby with you and then they are so friendly!)
3. There are too many people in the city
4. Going to the city, where there are fun things to do, requires a train and a not insignificant amount of time.
5. The city has too many people and is sensory overload.
6. NYC is dirty. Really, really dirty.
7. Summers are HOT and HUMID
8. Winters are cold, it's snows and it's really, really dry.
9. There are no mountains.
10. There is no good, close place to go skiing


Anything I will miss?
1. Taking lessons with Pascual
2. The cool stuff in the city - symphony, opera, ballet, restaurants
3. Northwinds

6 weeks

Wow! Mariko is now six weeks old! I can't believe it!! I think I will always say that no matter how old, or young, she is :-)

Toshi's mom is here to help out last week and this week. It's been wonderful to have help again after two weeks of on our own. It was a strange adjustment since I had been used to doing everything on my own while Toshi was at work, but it's been wonderful, especially since she doesn't mind early mornings! Also, since Mariko has been sleeping more at night and doing so wonderfully gaining weight that we don't have to wake her up (7 pounds 5 ounces at last weeks checkup!), we are getting more sleep as well! Toshi does the shift until 2 (usually a (9:30 and 1:30am or so feedings). When he gest up for the later feeding I pump to make sure we have enough milk for the following feedings. I get up for the next one - usually around 4:30 and then pump again. After that Yoko takes over for the next one (usually around 7:30 or 8) and I sleep in while Toshi gets up for work.

Toshi's work days are still usually pretty short and he's nearing the end of his mammo requirement - 240 studies in 6 months - and his obligations at work will be even less once that's done. After that he will only be required to go to conference and will just go in to get studying done for boards. It has been incredible that his schedule has been so light since Mariko was born. It has made a huge difference in what our lives have been like these past six weeks. He was able to spend basically as much time as he wanted with her in the NICU and we were able to sleep in prior to going to see her. Since then he has been able to sleep in if needed and has been around in the afternoons and evenings to help out. I know that if I was breast feeding that I would pretty much be on my own for all of it anyway since he wouldn't be able to help with feedings (which I think will spoil me the next time around when I do need to do it all on my own - assuming breast feeding work) but it has been wonderful having him help and I look forward to that continuing!
Just got an email from Toshi at work - he's done with his mammo! YAY!

Yoko is here through Monday morning. We are then on our own for a week before Jeffrey comes on Monday evening. He'll be here through early Thursday. A quick trip but it will be wonderful to have him! After that about a week until dad comes to help with the week that Toshi is gone in New Jersey for his review course. Then it will be the middle of April - dad leaves the 13th. From there almost exactly two months until we move to Seattle. Our leave date is June 15th!! YAY! So excited about moving back home. It has been a long four years - with some great times and some not great times and we are so excited to get to move back to the West Coast where we feel we belong. Although we've made some great friends in NY it is not for us!! Ready to be back in Seattle!

5 weeks

Mariko is five weeks old today. I can't believe it. It has gone by so fast! On Wednesday we did a one month photo shoot including picking out what our monthly photo will be - I bought the month stickers and we have white onesies and we are sitting her next to this small stuffed monkey. I also wanted to put her next to the giant monkey but that didn't work out quite as planned. Anyway, it will be fun to see how she grows each month. Right now she's not much bigger than the monkey!

What a five weeks it has been!

The NICU, home, me with mastitis, the issues with breast feeding and finally giving up, pumping and bottle feeding all the time (thank goodness Toshi can help! I think this will spoil me assuming that the next time around that breast feeding works), then I got thrush. Thank goodness Mariko didn't get it but I took her to the doctor just to be sure. That was Monday of last week - the only week since we brought her home that we weren't supposed to need to go to the doctor. However, they did weigh her and she's at 6lbs 6oz so she's still gaining weight like a champ! On Tuesday we have her one month visit (a bit late since we had been the first three weeks we brought her home and they told us we could wait another week). Tuesday, also, Toshi's mom comes to visit for two weeks. I know that Toshi is excited to have her here and it will be nice to have Mariko visit with her Obaasama (spelling?). She'll be here just under two weeks and then we'll have another break before Jeffrey and possibly Lindsay come to visit.

We have gotten in to a pretty good rhythm and Mariko is starting to be awake more now which is great - not a lot but she usually has one or two good chunks of awake time during the day. She often still falls asleep right after eating but I think that preemies tend to sleep even more than full-term newborns and she's eating and gaining so I'm not worried (although I'm still not used to having her go 4 hours without eating!) She's been letting us sleep at night - up to four hours usually once or twice - so that's good. Toshi and I take turns. He usually does feedings until 2am and then I take over. We have her in her room (since we had a hard time sleeping with her in our room) and at 2 am the monitor gets passed off to me. The hard thing is getting up to pump once in the night. I either end up getting once when Toshi gets up to feed her or I'm up for twice as long when I get up to feed her so I can feed her and pump. Haven't quite figured that out yet and I'm not yet comfortable going more than 5 hours without pumping. I hope that at some point (when she's sleeping longer) that I can go longer too and not need to get up the extra time.

I guess that's about all. It's been an interesting 4 weeks since we brought her home. I can't believe it's already been that long! Also, it is now only 3.5 months until we move home. It's getting closer and I can't wait!

Two weeks at home

Mariko has now been home with us for two weeks! I can't believe it's already been that long and that she's three weeks old! It seems like just yesterday we were at the hospital (four weeks early) and I was in labor. Wow, that makes me sound old (it seems like just yesterday...)

Things are going quite well. Mom was here with us until Sunday afternoon which was amazing. The first week when Mariko wasn't home she helped get things organized and helped me run errands and make dinner. Although it was really really hard to not have Mariko with us, it was nice to have some time to rest and take care of me. We went to the hospital twice a day and were there for at least two if not three feedings. As the feedings got farther apart - four hours instead of three - we were there for only two as staying at the hospital in between feedings was difficult! Everyone in the NICU was amazing. The nurses there really run the place and they were incredible. They loved Mariko and they were sad to see her go! The attending that was there M-F and then again on Monday was awesome as well and the resident that we saw most of the time was great as well. They came to talk to us about what was going on and how she was doing and would update us.

The Monday that we took Mariko home I was worried that she wasn't going to be able to leave as her biliruben had gone up the day before. However, Dr. Boxer who was the attending on had said that if she came back Monday and Mariko was still there she was sending her home. We walked in on Monday and the first person I saw was Dr. Boxer. She looked at me and said "are you ready?" I looked at her and said "she's going home?" She said "I promised you if she was still here today that I would send her home." I started crying. After 8 days we finally got to take out little girl home. She came and gave me a hug and said "I'm so glad I can make someone this happy."

I called Toshi who had gone to work and said we were taking her home. He told people at work and came to meet us on the third floor. We did all the paperwork and took her home!

Since then there have been some serious ups and downs. Breastfeeding has been an adventure to say the least. We've had two different lactation consultants (the second of whom was much more helpful than the first!) and tried basically everything including me lying in bed with Mariko for half a day just waiting for her to eat, to a bottle before and after nursing her. It was days of me being miserable and trying to make it happen while pumping to make sure that she had enough to eat. On Friday after spending half the day in bed with her I was miserable. She was crying and frustrated and so was I. I could have just fixed it with a bottle. So Toshi and I talked (and mom let me know that she would have quit long ago, she said, you've done everything you can and then some and it's driving you crazy) and he came up with an idea that I really liked. For now we will do all bottles and I will pump. This way she'll still get the breastmilk but the nursing won't drive me crazy. I literally felt like a crazy person - I wasn't sleeping very well even though mom and Toshi were taking all the night feedings and I was only having to get up to pump - and when I was up I was crying all the time. Since we decided on this plan, although it wasn't the plan I was hoping for, I have been so much happier. I know that she's getting plenty to eat, we can track it, I pump and Toshi can help in the middle of the night. It's so much better. Not the plan I thought but having one that works really helps my sanity.

Due to her small size and the concern about her gaining weight and because of the biliruben, we have seen the pediatrician three times in three weeks - each Tuesday afternoon. The first week she had only gained 4 ounces and they wanted to see us back yesterday to make sure that was going better. They like newborns to gain an ounce a day! The funny thing to me about that is no matter what their size. For Mariko, gaining and ounce a day is way different than an 8 pound baby! Anyway, either way. As of yesterday she weighed 6 pounds meaning she had put on 8 ounces in 7 days! I guess this bottle feeding thing is working! It is possible that we will explore the nursing again in a couple of weeks or so, but maybe not. This is going really well. Although we have the breast pump that my dad bought us - Medela In Style - the plan had never been for me to exclusively pump. So, we decided to spend our FSA money on the Medela Symphony - the one that they use in the hospitals. This one I'll use at home and if I ever need to take one with me I'll have the other one. The Symphony is quicker and gentler which is fantastic. It came yesterday and the attachments this afternoon so I'll get to use it this evening and tonight. Looking forward to that! So far I am keeping up with Mariko's needs even though she's started eating nearly 3 ounces every 3 hours or so. Earlier this afternoon she took 100ml! At some point soon we are going to have to go up to 8 ounce bottles from the 4 ounce because the 4 ounces won't be enough - I call her my champion eater! Although we would normally go to the doctor for a one month visit, she said she's doing so well that we will go back in two weeks instead of one. Good stuff. She also told us that we can let Mariko sleep 4 or even 5 hours (if she will) during the night. Last night she didn't do that and I have a feeling it might be a little while before she does, but setting an alarm for 4 or 5 hours instead of 3 is awesome. It's the little things.

Ok, time for me to go finish my dinner before she wakes up and needs to eat again.

Things are going well :-)

Medication and diet finally working

Last night I took the fruit out of my dinner foods and put it in to my bedtime snack. That change seems to have made all the difference. Dinner is no longer too high and with the lowered dinner value and then the added fruit at bedtime, morning is no longer too low :-)

Tonight Toshi and I are going to go talk to Mark to figure out what we owe him for the damages - hopefully not too much! And work on a schedule so I can do laundry... hopefully it will all work out...

Washing Machine and I can't wait to leave NY

Yesterday the washing machine freaked out. After the last time it leaked (totally my fault for not securing the hose in the sink) I was incredibly careful, knowing that if it happened again it was likely our landlord would tell us that I wasn't allowed to use it again. I ran two loads of laundry in the morning checking often to make sure that everything was ok. Everything was fine. The hose was secured in the sink and no issues at all. I started a third load of laundry (trying to get all the baby stuff washed and put away) and then made a quick run to the store. I was gone less than 30 minutes and checked the hose  before I left and somehow when I came back, the hose was out of the sink and on the counter. How did this happen? I have NO idea. I walked in the house, up the stairs and took one step in the kitchen and lost it. Yelling at the machine and crying hysterically. And, as suspected, this morning an email from our landlord telling me I can't use the machine anymore. That's all well and good now but what are we supposed to do with a newborn in the house? Not having laundry is not really an option.

I emailed back apologizing and telling them I didn't know what had happened or why. Stating that if what it would take for me to be able to use it again would be sitting in the kitchen the whole time it's running, that's what I would do. Otherwise we need to work out something with Mark, downstairs, to be able to use the washer/dryer down there. We tried this when he first moved in and it didn't really work as (to be expected) he didn't want me using it when he wasn't home. That's not really going to work either, as he's never home. But honestly, with a newborn, going to the laundromat just won't be feasible.

I sat here and composed the email back to them and read over his email a couple of times completely in tears. I don't know what else to do. I called Toshi but he's on the road to Boston to take a look at a bike frame he wants to buy. I have yoga in 25 minutes and although I know I should go and get myself out of the house I'm stuck here in this chair wishing I hadn't left the house yesterday afternoon to run to the store. I should have just waited until the stupid thing was done before leaving. I had the time I just felt like I had to go right then.

I suppose I should get up and go to yoga. It will probably help me calm myself down.

I can't wait to get out of NY to a normal house with a normal washer and dryer and to be rid of this stupid portable one that while at one point was wonderful just seems to be causing more issues. I used to leave the house all the time with it running and there had never been an issue before. I don't get it.

5.5 weeks to due date

Over the weekend we moved stuff around the house.

Our computers now live on the dining room table, the table that had Toshi's computer is gone and my desk is still in the room as a place for people to put stuff or have a place to sit when they are here visiting. The futon is also in that room. So the former computer room is now officially the guest room.

The former guest room is now officially baby's room! The bookshelf is cleaned off and I have started putting baby stuff there. The mattress is down on the floor. I have been through all the clothes and taken off all the tags (we have a lot of stuff although I know that babies go through clothes like crazy, especially if they are spitter-uppers). Today when Toshi gets home we will put the dresser together and I will get all the baby clothes washed and put away, organized in drawers by size. Other than that we just need to get the changing table put together. We ordered the Pack 'n Play and it will be here Friday - I guess that means I need to clean up the space next to my side of my bed so it has somewhere to go!

In a week or so (once the credit card has turned over) we will be ordering the rest of the stuff from the registry that we really need. There is a lot of little stuff left plus I think we'll need some plain white onezies, as I know that's a good thing to have for newborns - I'm thinking Target for those. We still need things like the diaper genie, a laundry hamper, soap, diapers, diaper bag, bibs, a thermometer, a boom box and a couple of other things. Nothing major but still a lot of stuff. Babies need a lot of stuff! :-) But, of course, it's all worth it and I'm excited!

On Monday I had a doctors appointment and they decided to start me on twice a day meds. I'm not really happy about that especially since the only potentially worrisome levels were my dinner ones and they weren't even that high. Yesterday I had my first levels with two straight doses of medication (about  every 12 hours) and my lunch one was low. Then post dinner was high. So I'm hoping the low one was a fluke and that I just need to adjust the time I take the second one each day so that it after dinner I will have the second dose in my system and not just the very end of the first. I would rather not be on meds especially since I felt crappy yesterday after lunchtime but I'm going to try and adjust a bit today and see if I can fix it. I don't want to have to add in extra carbs/sugars to compensate for the pill because to me that would defeat the purpose.

I have a Biophysical profile today at the hospital. Friday I had the first one, along with a Non-Stress Test because after 24 hours I was still feeling decreased (not not there, just decreased) baby movement and I was nervous about it. So I called Joan, our midwife and told her. She works at the hospital as a NP so she scheduled me for an NST and a BPP so we went in for those. Everything is fine and I was just being paranoid. Afterwards baby went back to her normal crazy movements but since I have diabetes and am on meds they want to do an NST and BPP once a week. I was supposed to have an NST today as well but they are short staffed at the hospital and had to cancel the NST. Joan said as long as they are doing the BPP then we should be fine. Next week I will see her at the hospital, and then the following week the OB. They are co-managing me which I love. She is getting the support of having an OB check me for the meds etc and we still get to have midwifery care.

We have finished our Bradley childbirth classes with Celeste. She was fantastic and we learned a lot. Toshi really enjoyed the classes as well especially since Celeste is a great speaker. At the second class we went through all kinds of laboring techniques that I know will come in really handy when the time comes! Toshi will be the only one with me until we feel we need Vicky (the doula) so it will be good for him to know these things and be able to help me as much as he can.

On Monday I had my first class with the breastfeeding educator. I think after Celeste we were spoiled, as I was not as much of a fan of her as I was of Celeste. The first class in general was a bit disappointing as it was all about the importance of natural childbirth and watching videos. She went through all that stuff even though I told her that we had classes with Celeste. I know that she will be helpful after the birth - she'll come by then as well - but I'm hoping the second class with her next week will be more feeding related.

On the 31st we have a Baby Care class at North Shore hospital. I felt like that would be a good way for us to prepare for newborn care. I have lots of baby care experience but not with newborns, and Toshi doesn't have a lot of infant care experience in general. I think it will be helpful.

I'm feeling nervous and excited all at the same time. Excited to be done with being pregnant and excited to meet our little girl but nervous about the whole having to give birth thing. I know that women have done this for thousands of years and that many of them didn't really know what was going to happen to them when they gave birth as people didn't used to talk about it, it just sort of happened. I am grateful for all the education I have surround this, however I really don't want to watch any more birth videos before then because I've seen enough and I think that's what makes me nervous!

5.5 weeks from now is the due date!!!! We are going to be parents. How cool is that?

Gestational Diabetes, again and other baby stuff

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and although I thought that my levels had been good, he's now worried about my dinner values being a bit on the high side. They are often a couple points high. I think part of the reason for this is that I'm not active at all after dinner. Even just in the house I'm running around during the day but after dinner I just want to veg and do nothing. Also, I think that I'm not always as careful as I should be about dinner. For example forgetting that there are carbs in the sauce that is on the meat and not counting that (and still having the same amount of starch carbs).

So he said he was going to give me a week of cutting down/out the starch at dinner and see how that would go, but he talked to maternal fetal medicine and they want to start me on the medication once a day. So, starting tomorrow I'll take the medication once in the morning, in hopes that will help my dinner value be low. It does mean that I don't have to give up my dinner starch though which I kind of like, however I'd rather not be on the medication at all.

Also, I had emailed my midwife, Joan to see if since I was diet regulated she might consider taking me back. The email I got from her this afternoon said she would check with Dr. Bryson, however now I have a feeling that it won't happen since I'm on medication. Also, starting next week they will be doing some extra testing on me because I'm no longer diet controlled. I knew there was a possibility of this - as things change throughout pregnancy, I was just hoping it wouldn't be the case!

In other news there are a lot of pregnancies and babies happening!
Angela and Veda both had their babies with in a day of each other! I have to say, after seeing their photos on facebook, I'm a bit jealous!

We found out that Kara is pregnant and expecting in June and Eiko is expecting in July!

So, me in February, Katie in April, Mara in June/July, Kara in June, Eiko in July. WOW!

We have installed our carseat bases for the two cars. We did that yesterday and I have to say we were both a bit giddy while doing it. Knowing that soon there will be a little person to put in the carseat is very very exciting. We practiced getting the carseat in and out of the cars, both cars (the Acura is definitely much more difficult!) and I am thankful for the bases that now live in the cars. The seat just snaps into the base which is incredible.

This weekend we will be rearranging the rooms in the house. We were going to start this past weekend and then didn't. I did clean off the bookshelf in the guest room (which is becoming the baby's room) which will get moved to the study (which is becoming the guest room), but all the big moving is yet to do.

Computer room:
My desk is getting moved to the living room with Toshi's computer. My computer will live on the dining room table. The table with Toshi's computer will go byebye, or maybe live in the room so people have a table? The bookshelf will be moved in to serve as a dresser of sorts for guests we will be having, as well as the futon making the current computer room the guest room.

The Guest Room:
Is becoming baby's room! The futon and bookshelf go byebye and we will set up the changing table, dresser and mattress, plus there should be room for the rocking chair. Once we get everything up there then I can start organizing clothes and getting stuff put away so the room looks more like a room.

We are still needing the rocking chair which I'm hoping my dad will get us, and the Pack n' Play and then some little things but we are on our way to being ready! I want to be fully ready by 36 or 37 weeks just in case, or I guess feel mostly ready? Plus I figure after that point I likely won't want to be doing too much anyway.

Seattle Christmas and 32 weeks!

Toshi and I spent the last 10 days in Seattle running around seeing family and friends. It was a very busy 10 days but it was wonderful to get to spend time with everyone. Christmas was the busiest day with celebrating at home, with Barker's and then back at home with D'Amours. Although the grandparents were unable to join us for Christmas dinner I was able to spend time with them on New Year's Eve before we left New Year's Day. It was good to spend time with them, especially since my grandmother since I'm not sure how she'll be when we return in June. I can only hope that she will still remember me.

While in Seattle there was also a baby shower! 32 weeks to the day was the day that we celebrated at Betsy's house at a shower hosted by Betsy and Nancy. It was so fun to open all those little clothes and adorable blankets! We still need lots of stuff (babies need lots of stuff!) but we are getting closer!

Yesterday we returned to NY, back to reality (at least for Toshi who had to go to work this morning). I can't believe that we are only 8 weeks away from our little girl's arrival! I feel as though we have been waiting forever (40 weeks is a LONG time!) and now we are getting close. We are going to be parents! This weekend we are planning on doing some rearranging of the house to start getting the baby's room ready (even though she'll be in with us for a while). I can't wait to work on the nursery even though she'll only be in that room for a couple of months before we head back to Seattle.

Six months from now we will be back in Seattle. Toshi will have started his fellowship at UW and we will be all settled and away from NY. I have been looking forward to this for so long and we are getting close!